When I am Gone...

I was watching this movie this morning about a mother with a young boy, the mother died leaving the little boy in the care of the grandparents. At the end of the movie the mother had written her son a letter in the even that she passed and they started reading it. Lemme tell you, I have never cried so hard over a movie in my life. Its amazing how motherhood softens you. I used to laugh, I mean laugh at my mother when she would sob at these type of movies "Mom, you are such a dork its just a movie" But here I was, sitting with Gavin on the floor just loosing it. He is looking at me like I used to look at my mother "Geez mom, what is your problem" I think its every mothers nightmare to loose your child or to die when they are young. I couldn't help but wonder, what if I died (Morbid and freaky I know) and Gavin couldn't remember me because he was so young, what would my letter to him say..

Dear Gavin-

Life is sometimes never fair, there are things that we cannot control and there are things that will test our limits. But then there are times in life when you can be happy, know that you are loved and well taken care of and know that no matter what happens in your life someone will be there with a hug. My hope for you as you grow up is to be kind to others, be patient and responsible and love those that love you. Take the path in life that will lead you to happiness no matter how long or short that road is. Also know that I love (ed) you very much and will always be there for you. You are one smart boy, you always were we always marveled at how you learned and how you grew.

When life treats you bad, remember these words and know that you are one special little boy and I am (was) lucky enough to be your mother.

Love you Gav.

Love your mother.

There, its hard to write a letter to your child. I hope he never has to read that because it would mean something happened, but I guess ya never know. Morbid as it sounds from this movie I was watching you do never know. You just have to continue to live your life, love every minute of it and watch how fast your children grow and amaze you.

This morning Gavin and I were listening to "Who let the dogs out" and he was actually head banging to it. I asked him if he wanted listen to it again after it was done and he shook his head yes so violently I couldn't deny that. We listened to that 5 times before he was done.

I even had to change the name to "Gavin Let the Dogs out." It was a good time. I love that boy!!!!!!!