Discovery Toy Party

I will be the first to admit I love to shop. My thinking is if I buy something for someone else it really is not shopping, its providing. I even love going to Walmart and buying shampoo and soap. Its just the thrill of buying something that I do not NEED but want. Am I a shop-a-holic? I don't think so, have you seen that movie? If I froze my credit card in a block of ice, I THINK it would stay there, unless.. No it would stay there.
The problem got worse when I had Gavin, do you know how much stuff these kids need? I love it. They cannot go without diapers, bottles, bath stuff, books, toys, crib blankets, stuffed animals, clothes, shoes, ipods, cellphones.. Well you get the idea. So when someone invites me to a Discovery Toy party, how could I say no? Catalog shopping for Gavin? I am there! Christmas IS coming up, so that validates a small shopping spree for him right? Its not like its a purse party or something (Oh god help me if there ever was one) But I am bringing a co-pilot with me, my mom. She is just as bad when it comes to buying things for Gavin, but she is allowed she is the Nana. As a parent I should have more self-restraint. But when Gavin gets that smie going and the little arms reach for something that is not THAT expensive I cave. Its awful. That kid could reach for a can of kitchen cleaner and I would buy it just to see him smile. I understand at some point I am going to have to learn to say no, otherwise he will always get what he wants and I do not want to raise one of those kids. But for right now, when he does not know what spoiling is, I am going to spoil him because I CAN!!!
So tonight, I will bring my check book, TRY not to spend to much and feel good because I am not spending money on myself.

Doggie No More

So, we got rid of our dogs over the weekend. If you know me you are probably rolling your eyes and saying "Ok, we get it you got rid of the dogs" Because whenever someone asks us how we are I have to go into a story about how we had to give our dogs a new home. Guilty? Perhaps a little but it was necessary. They are sweet dogs, they loved us, they loved Gavin (Well they put up with Gavin) and they were well mannered. But we didn't give them any love, the most love we gave them was a pat on the butt before they head outside all day. It was just to much for us. So yes, we are dogless. To be frank, looking back now it is like a sigh of relief. We still have Dedos, which to my husbands disgust will be with us for a long time.

As much as we are enjoying the peace and quiet we do miss them, they were part of our lives for so long it seems almost to quiet, but we will get used to it I am sure.

After we got rid of them through tears and snot Nick looked at me and goes "Gavin is going to forget how to say dog." Umm, what? I had to stop in my tracks right there, are there no more dogs in this world? Are there not a dog on every single commercial out there, he is niave, Gavin not saying dog is like me not wanting a Louis Vuitton purse, it will NEVER HAPPEN. So I got quite a good giggle out of that comment. Then he thought well Gavin is going to be depressed when the dogs are gone. When Gavin came home that day he came over and started playing where the dogs kennels were, he was like wahooooooo free space. So we can safetly say Gavin does not give two hoots about the dogs being gone. It just means more mommy and Gavin time. Enough said!

Old Man...

So, we have this truck parked across the street from our house which kind of annoys me since we have to wake up and see this big, nasty truck parked outside. BUT, with Gavin I can't wait to get up and show him what is out there. Although, my enthusiam is less when its about 6:00am but you get the idea. Anyway, we pulled into the drive last night, Gavin jumped out of the car and yelled "TRUCK" I stopped dead, I swear I was hearing an old man say Truck. I couldn't believe that grown up a word came out of my little 21 pound babies mouth. He kept saying it too like he was trying it out. Truck, Truck Truck TRUCK. I was just waiting for him to ask me for the keys so he could take it for a spin or something. It was amazing. But of course, when I want him to perform his new found talent he freezes and can't seem to find that word again. So when Daddy came home and I grabbed Gavin and ran to the door and practically yelled "Gavin whats that." He looks at me with his big blue eyes raises his hands as if to say "I don't know mom, what is it." I was soo disappointed, so now I look like I heard a coo and thought he meant truck like all new mothers do, but I swear to you, he said TRUCK! I guess all that matters is that I heard it and now know that word exsists in his vocabulary to come out when we least expect it.

If that wasn't enough I was in the kitchen making dinner and I stopped and really figured out, I have a grown toddler running around my house. He was clinging to my leg, asking for a snack, and "helping" me out. It was amazing. I never really stopped to think about how grown up he really is. I can ask him a question and he can almost understand me. I ask him if he wants a snack he can shake his head yes or no which in Gavins case is always yes since that kid is a human garbage disposal like his father. I can ask him if he is ready for dinner etc. Its amazing. I guess when you live with children you do not really notice when they are growing you kind of just adapt to their needs. But if you stop and look at him interact and run around, he is a little boy no longer a baby. I am so proud to see him act like a big boy. He is getting his manners down and when he gets a snack he knows to sit down to enjoy it rather then running around. Just baffles me.
So I guess I need to refer to Gavin as my big boy rather then my baby, but right now I am not ready to and he will be my baby for a bit longer!

A Girls Best Friend

OK, tell me this.. Is it lame that I consider my son one of my best friends? It may be a bit odd, I admit it however, when you can chit chat with your child and bop along to the radio, what more do you need.
This weekend I was driving home with him and we were listening to our favorite song "Who Let the Dogs out" and he was just jamming in the backseat, I was singing horribly and we were just enjoying the moment. Then we got home, he "helped" me make dinner by banging his pots and pans and then we had dinner together and that was that. Despite having a RAGING headache, he was able to show love and compassion that sometimes I feel my husband lacks. When Nick would say "Mommy does not feel well show her nice nice." He would come over, hug me and give me kisses. It melted my heart that my man at such a young age could see that his mama was not feeling well and he needed to show her baby love. It was just, amazing.
After a weekend like that, dropping him at off at daycare is like cutting off my arm. He is always around me, and if he is not around me I can hear him calling "Mama, MOMMMMM" so I know he is not far from my side. But when I drop him off I feel like I am missing something big. I go through my day, but there is just something nagging at me from all sides of me. Its hard to explain unless you are a parent, but it is something that never really goes away. I think of those mothers that have lost their children, when does that loss arm feeling come back, does it ever? Thankfully at the end of the day my arm is reattached and I feel whole again, until the next day that is. I like my arm, it is there for a reason, and I hope it stays there for a VERY long time.
But in the meantime I will make do with my lost arm, and will reattach it at excatly 5pm!

Foul Mood

Ok, so today I am in a foul mood. I just get sooo agitated when things get to be mundane and day to day. We get up, get showers, Nick eats breakfast, I get my lunch and Gavins lunch together, think about dinner for that night, dress Gavin, brush our teeth (Yes, Gavin brushes his own teeth and does a darn good job at it) get everything we need and head out the door. Where is my morning? The most time I get to spend with Gavin is when he is drinking his bottle of milk. Then we are off. Then I hand him off to pretty much strangers to raise my son for the rest of the day and then I get him, go home, feed dinner MAYBE play for an hour and then its bed time. Umm, no wonder I was sad yesterday about him growing so fast, I hardly get any time with him. It just puts me in a really rotten mood.
This morning I actually stopped and Gavin and I listened to the birds outside, we watched the dump truck go up the road "PRUCK" Gavin yelled. We talked about what we were hearing and then I put him in the car and we were off. I looked at the clock HOLY HELL we were really late. We can't even stop and listen to freakin' birds. Luckily my boss is not in, but still. I know mothers everywhere are feeling the same thing and its silly to complain about it, but geez, we can't even stop to smell the roses anymore without having to worry about being late or getting stuck in traffic.
That is why we treasure the weekends so much, when we can stop and just enjoy. We can get up late, play in our Pj's and just reconnect.
I wish there was DVR for our kids, we can get them and rewind the day to know what they have done all day. Wouldn't that be something. I would be the first in line for that. But until then, I guess I will continue to put the pieces together based on what I hear and what color paint I find on Gavins body, and just enjoy the time we have together. But I can still be in a foul mood today if I want to be.

Big Boy.. No longer a baby.

When I used to drop off Gavin at daycare I would always look back and say to myself "He is so small, look at how the other kids tower over him." Now I look back and think "Look at that big boy running around and towering over all those other kids." It kind of made me sad today. I was sad because I realized he will grow up, he will start rebeling and he will pull away from me at some point. Everyone tells me, do not worry about that it will be a long time before he does that. But as my favorite quote states "In the life of parenting the days are long and the years are short." Before I know it he will be going to school and sowing his wild oats.

But on the other end of it, I am so excited to see who he becomes and where he goes with his life. He is already just soooo smart. He grabs a book and throws it at me, which is his way of saying "read" he will sit on my lap and smile and talk to the book. He will even sit on the floor alone and "read" to himself. Its amazing. He can point out the window at a car coming and actually say "car" It just makes my mouth drop open to think that this kid can talk. He is an actual person, not a pet, not a lump of skin, but an actual little person.

I love that.

Through my Childs Eyes...

I must say, I have been to Maine hundreds of times.. Well maybe not hundreds but since I was kid. We used to go to Olde Orchard Beach and stay there, then I brought Nick there a few times and my mom and I have gone numerous times, so OK maybe close to hundred.. But I have never brought Gavin there. I knew the beauty of the ocean, the scenery and the sounds and smells of the ocean. But I guess I never just stopped and realized how truly beautiful it really is.. that is until I brought Gavin. I swear I saw that area in a whole new light. The ocean was a bit more clear, the waves a bit louder and the surronding things to do, who knew the zoo was so wonderful?

SOO many times I have heard that once you have children you see things in a different light. I used to wonder what they were talking about. Don't we see things the same? I guess not. When Gavin was running after seagulls instead of worry about them pooping on my head, I took pictures. When we picked up a shell and a crab popped out, instead of vowing never to go back I laughed about it and made a memory.

Everytime I go on a trip I keep thinking to myself now THIS is going to be th best vacation I have ever been on. But they just keep getting better and better. Even before Gavin I had GREAT vacations. Grand Canyon, Disney, Atlantic City, Ireland (Yes, I am lucky to have traveled so much) But now I cannot wait to go back again to all these places I have been to see them through Gavins eyes. What would he think about Dumbo and the flying ride? The Ferris Wheel and the Grand Canyon? I can only imagine.

I guess the most exciting thing, Well not the most but one of the exciting things is I can act like a kid again without getting weird looks. I too can chase after seagulls, laugh at the birds as they get caught in a wave, giggle at the ducks waddling by your feet and search through the gift shop for that allusive gift you want to bring home. For Gavin it was a lobster stuffed animal and yes a stuffed animal seagull.

Everyday I enjoy going out with Gavin to see what we can find. Lets just hope he continues to enjoy going places with me.....