Discovery Toy Party

I will be the first to admit I love to shop. My thinking is if I buy something for someone else it really is not shopping, its providing. I even love going to Walmart and buying shampoo and soap. Its just the thrill of buying something that I do not NEED but want. Am I a shop-a-holic? I don't think so, have you seen that movie? If I froze my credit card in a block of ice, I THINK it would stay there, unless.. No it would stay there.
The problem got worse when I had Gavin, do you know how much stuff these kids need? I love it. They cannot go without diapers, bottles, bath stuff, books, toys, crib blankets, stuffed animals, clothes, shoes, ipods, cellphones.. Well you get the idea. So when someone invites me to a Discovery Toy party, how could I say no? Catalog shopping for Gavin? I am there! Christmas IS coming up, so that validates a small shopping spree for him right? Its not like its a purse party or something (Oh god help me if there ever was one) But I am bringing a co-pilot with me, my mom. She is just as bad when it comes to buying things for Gavin, but she is allowed she is the Nana. As a parent I should have more self-restraint. But when Gavin gets that smie going and the little arms reach for something that is not THAT expensive I cave. Its awful. That kid could reach for a can of kitchen cleaner and I would buy it just to see him smile. I understand at some point I am going to have to learn to say no, otherwise he will always get what he wants and I do not want to raise one of those kids. But for right now, when he does not know what spoiling is, I am going to spoil him because I CAN!!!
So tonight, I will bring my check book, TRY not to spend to much and feel good because I am not spending money on myself.

Doggie No More

So, we got rid of our dogs over the weekend. If you know me you are probably rolling your eyes and saying "Ok, we get it you got rid of the dogs" Because whenever someone asks us how we are I have to go into a story about how we had to give our dogs a new home. Guilty? Perhaps a little but it was necessary. They are sweet dogs, they loved us, they loved Gavin (Well they put up with Gavin) and they were well mannered. But we didn't give them any love, the most love we gave them was a pat on the butt before they head outside all day. It was just to much for us. So yes, we are dogless. To be frank, looking back now it is like a sigh of relief. We still have Dedos, which to my husbands disgust will be with us for a long time.

As much as we are enjoying the peace and quiet we do miss them, they were part of our lives for so long it seems almost to quiet, but we will get used to it I am sure.

After we got rid of them through tears and snot Nick looked at me and goes "Gavin is going to forget how to say dog." Umm, what? I had to stop in my tracks right there, are there no more dogs in this world? Are there not a dog on every single commercial out there, he is niave, Gavin not saying dog is like me not wanting a Louis Vuitton purse, it will NEVER HAPPEN. So I got quite a good giggle out of that comment. Then he thought well Gavin is going to be depressed when the dogs are gone. When Gavin came home that day he came over and started playing where the dogs kennels were, he was like wahooooooo free space. So we can safetly say Gavin does not give two hoots about the dogs being gone. It just means more mommy and Gavin time. Enough said!

Old Man...

So, we have this truck parked across the street from our house which kind of annoys me since we have to wake up and see this big, nasty truck parked outside. BUT, with Gavin I can't wait to get up and show him what is out there. Although, my enthusiam is less when its about 6:00am but you get the idea. Anyway, we pulled into the drive last night, Gavin jumped out of the car and yelled "TRUCK" I stopped dead, I swear I was hearing an old man say Truck. I couldn't believe that grown up a word came out of my little 21 pound babies mouth. He kept saying it too like he was trying it out. Truck, Truck Truck TRUCK. I was just waiting for him to ask me for the keys so he could take it for a spin or something. It was amazing. But of course, when I want him to perform his new found talent he freezes and can't seem to find that word again. So when Daddy came home and I grabbed Gavin and ran to the door and practically yelled "Gavin whats that." He looks at me with his big blue eyes raises his hands as if to say "I don't know mom, what is it." I was soo disappointed, so now I look like I heard a coo and thought he meant truck like all new mothers do, but I swear to you, he said TRUCK! I guess all that matters is that I heard it and now know that word exsists in his vocabulary to come out when we least expect it.

If that wasn't enough I was in the kitchen making dinner and I stopped and really figured out, I have a grown toddler running around my house. He was clinging to my leg, asking for a snack, and "helping" me out. It was amazing. I never really stopped to think about how grown up he really is. I can ask him a question and he can almost understand me. I ask him if he wants a snack he can shake his head yes or no which in Gavins case is always yes since that kid is a human garbage disposal like his father. I can ask him if he is ready for dinner etc. Its amazing. I guess when you live with children you do not really notice when they are growing you kind of just adapt to their needs. But if you stop and look at him interact and run around, he is a little boy no longer a baby. I am so proud to see him act like a big boy. He is getting his manners down and when he gets a snack he knows to sit down to enjoy it rather then running around. Just baffles me.
So I guess I need to refer to Gavin as my big boy rather then my baby, but right now I am not ready to and he will be my baby for a bit longer!

A Girls Best Friend

OK, tell me this.. Is it lame that I consider my son one of my best friends? It may be a bit odd, I admit it however, when you can chit chat with your child and bop along to the radio, what more do you need.
This weekend I was driving home with him and we were listening to our favorite song "Who Let the Dogs out" and he was just jamming in the backseat, I was singing horribly and we were just enjoying the moment. Then we got home, he "helped" me make dinner by banging his pots and pans and then we had dinner together and that was that. Despite having a RAGING headache, he was able to show love and compassion that sometimes I feel my husband lacks. When Nick would say "Mommy does not feel well show her nice nice." He would come over, hug me and give me kisses. It melted my heart that my man at such a young age could see that his mama was not feeling well and he needed to show her baby love. It was just, amazing.
After a weekend like that, dropping him at off at daycare is like cutting off my arm. He is always around me, and if he is not around me I can hear him calling "Mama, MOMMMMM" so I know he is not far from my side. But when I drop him off I feel like I am missing something big. I go through my day, but there is just something nagging at me from all sides of me. Its hard to explain unless you are a parent, but it is something that never really goes away. I think of those mothers that have lost their children, when does that loss arm feeling come back, does it ever? Thankfully at the end of the day my arm is reattached and I feel whole again, until the next day that is. I like my arm, it is there for a reason, and I hope it stays there for a VERY long time.
But in the meantime I will make do with my lost arm, and will reattach it at excatly 5pm!

Foul Mood

Ok, so today I am in a foul mood. I just get sooo agitated when things get to be mundane and day to day. We get up, get showers, Nick eats breakfast, I get my lunch and Gavins lunch together, think about dinner for that night, dress Gavin, brush our teeth (Yes, Gavin brushes his own teeth and does a darn good job at it) get everything we need and head out the door. Where is my morning? The most time I get to spend with Gavin is when he is drinking his bottle of milk. Then we are off. Then I hand him off to pretty much strangers to raise my son for the rest of the day and then I get him, go home, feed dinner MAYBE play for an hour and then its bed time. Umm, no wonder I was sad yesterday about him growing so fast, I hardly get any time with him. It just puts me in a really rotten mood.
This morning I actually stopped and Gavin and I listened to the birds outside, we watched the dump truck go up the road "PRUCK" Gavin yelled. We talked about what we were hearing and then I put him in the car and we were off. I looked at the clock HOLY HELL we were really late. We can't even stop and listen to freakin' birds. Luckily my boss is not in, but still. I know mothers everywhere are feeling the same thing and its silly to complain about it, but geez, we can't even stop to smell the roses anymore without having to worry about being late or getting stuck in traffic.
That is why we treasure the weekends so much, when we can stop and just enjoy. We can get up late, play in our Pj's and just reconnect.
I wish there was DVR for our kids, we can get them and rewind the day to know what they have done all day. Wouldn't that be something. I would be the first in line for that. But until then, I guess I will continue to put the pieces together based on what I hear and what color paint I find on Gavins body, and just enjoy the time we have together. But I can still be in a foul mood today if I want to be.

Big Boy.. No longer a baby.

When I used to drop off Gavin at daycare I would always look back and say to myself "He is so small, look at how the other kids tower over him." Now I look back and think "Look at that big boy running around and towering over all those other kids." It kind of made me sad today. I was sad because I realized he will grow up, he will start rebeling and he will pull away from me at some point. Everyone tells me, do not worry about that it will be a long time before he does that. But as my favorite quote states "In the life of parenting the days are long and the years are short." Before I know it he will be going to school and sowing his wild oats.

But on the other end of it, I am so excited to see who he becomes and where he goes with his life. He is already just soooo smart. He grabs a book and throws it at me, which is his way of saying "read" he will sit on my lap and smile and talk to the book. He will even sit on the floor alone and "read" to himself. Its amazing. He can point out the window at a car coming and actually say "car" It just makes my mouth drop open to think that this kid can talk. He is an actual person, not a pet, not a lump of skin, but an actual little person.

I love that.

Through my Childs Eyes...

I must say, I have been to Maine hundreds of times.. Well maybe not hundreds but since I was kid. We used to go to Olde Orchard Beach and stay there, then I brought Nick there a few times and my mom and I have gone numerous times, so OK maybe close to hundred.. But I have never brought Gavin there. I knew the beauty of the ocean, the scenery and the sounds and smells of the ocean. But I guess I never just stopped and realized how truly beautiful it really is.. that is until I brought Gavin. I swear I saw that area in a whole new light. The ocean was a bit more clear, the waves a bit louder and the surronding things to do, who knew the zoo was so wonderful?

SOO many times I have heard that once you have children you see things in a different light. I used to wonder what they were talking about. Don't we see things the same? I guess not. When Gavin was running after seagulls instead of worry about them pooping on my head, I took pictures. When we picked up a shell and a crab popped out, instead of vowing never to go back I laughed about it and made a memory.

Everytime I go on a trip I keep thinking to myself now THIS is going to be th best vacation I have ever been on. But they just keep getting better and better. Even before Gavin I had GREAT vacations. Grand Canyon, Disney, Atlantic City, Ireland (Yes, I am lucky to have traveled so much) But now I cannot wait to go back again to all these places I have been to see them through Gavins eyes. What would he think about Dumbo and the flying ride? The Ferris Wheel and the Grand Canyon? I can only imagine.

I guess the most exciting thing, Well not the most but one of the exciting things is I can act like a kid again without getting weird looks. I too can chase after seagulls, laugh at the birds as they get caught in a wave, giggle at the ducks waddling by your feet and search through the gift shop for that allusive gift you want to bring home. For Gavin it was a lobster stuffed animal and yes a stuffed animal seagull.

Everyday I enjoy going out with Gavin to see what we can find. Lets just hope he continues to enjoy going places with me.....

When I am Gone...

I was watching this movie this morning about a mother with a young boy, the mother died leaving the little boy in the care of the grandparents. At the end of the movie the mother had written her son a letter in the even that she passed and they started reading it. Lemme tell you, I have never cried so hard over a movie in my life. Its amazing how motherhood softens you. I used to laugh, I mean laugh at my mother when she would sob at these type of movies "Mom, you are such a dork its just a movie" But here I was, sitting with Gavin on the floor just loosing it. He is looking at me like I used to look at my mother "Geez mom, what is your problem" I think its every mothers nightmare to loose your child or to die when they are young. I couldn't help but wonder, what if I died (Morbid and freaky I know) and Gavin couldn't remember me because he was so young, what would my letter to him say..

Dear Gavin-

Life is sometimes never fair, there are things that we cannot control and there are things that will test our limits. But then there are times in life when you can be happy, know that you are loved and well taken care of and know that no matter what happens in your life someone will be there with a hug. My hope for you as you grow up is to be kind to others, be patient and responsible and love those that love you. Take the path in life that will lead you to happiness no matter how long or short that road is. Also know that I love (ed) you very much and will always be there for you. You are one smart boy, you always were we always marveled at how you learned and how you grew.

When life treats you bad, remember these words and know that you are one special little boy and I am (was) lucky enough to be your mother.

Love you Gav.

Love your mother.

There, its hard to write a letter to your child. I hope he never has to read that because it would mean something happened, but I guess ya never know. Morbid as it sounds from this movie I was watching you do never know. You just have to continue to live your life, love every minute of it and watch how fast your children grow and amaze you.

This morning Gavin and I were listening to "Who let the dogs out" and he was actually head banging to it. I asked him if he wanted listen to it again after it was done and he shook his head yes so violently I couldn't deny that. We listened to that 5 times before he was done.

I even had to change the name to "Gavin Let the Dogs out." It was a good time. I love that boy!!!!!!!

Apples!

Well its that time of year again, the nights are cool and getting dark early and the smell of burnt leaves and pumpkins is in the air, its my favorite time of year its FALL!!!!!

The other day we went to an apple orchard to get some apples and you would have thought we dropped Gavin off at Disneyworld. He was screeching and running and just generally have a great time. I gave him an apple to hang on to and he had a death grip on that thing. Nothing could pry that out of his hands. We walked around and ooooohed and ahhhhed over tracters and tire swings and went to get back into the car. I let him hold the apple thinking he will tire of it, throw it over his car seat where it would stay until I started smelling something unpleasent in my car and realize it was the apple. I can however say with confidence that will not happen because he ate it!!! I was driving along with my mom and all of a sudden we heard a crunch. I look back that kid is chowing on that apple like a champ. He was taking tiny bites and rolling it around like he knew what he was doing before. I look back and go "What are you doing" To which he gives me a devil grin and keeps happily eating away. We stopped at a store and I got back in the back seat and this kid had eaten the WHOLE apple. I am talking down to the core, he handed it to me and just looked away like "Phew mom, that was good." I was in shock.. How could this 20 pound 1 year old polish off an apple? It was one of those moments when you felt a high five would be appropriate, but nope he just wanted to be left alone to relish in his apple accomplishment. Well, alrighty then!

No pants? No Problem

Gavins new way to walk around the house is with no pants and just his new sandals. I take them off to let his "Piggys" free and he squeals and puts his foot out for me to put his sandals back on. He cannot stand to be without shoes, its funny most kids squeal to get their shoes off. Nope, not my man, he wants them on all day everyday. He even naps with them on.

We went to Target awhile ago, and he went hog wild in the shoe aisle. Pointing at all the pretty shoes and wanting to put them on, even the girls shoes which I gotta admit are prettier then the male versions.

I call Gavin my little Fashionista, he loves feeling clothes, he loves wearing his shoes and he loves feeling the ruffles on my shirt. The other odd thing that he does is reach down my shirt anytime he needs to be comforted. I stopped breastfeeding at 6 weeks, could he be wanting something he didn't have enough time to connect with? My motherly mind keeps thinking that, maybe I should have breastfed longer, maybe I should have cuddled him more when he was a baby. But, my adult mind is saying Nope, he is a boy and he just likes his boobs. So I keep trying to let me adult mind ahead of my motherly mind just for this instance so I do not drive myself nuts with guilt. But why do they do this? What is so comforting about reaching down your mothers shirt and feeling around down there? Is it warm? Soft? We will probably never know.. But in the time being he can wear no pants, reach down my shirt and no one will question it, enjoy it sweet boy, these pleasures do not last for long.. Am I right?

Nothing Better..

There is really nothing better then a sleeping baby, and no its not because they are quiet. Its because they are so cuddly and just beautiful. Gavin has learned how to get himself into our bed without fault. He screams his little baby head off and here he comes into our bed to snuggle. So rough I know
It all starts with a whimper, which of course wakes me up. I swear if a mouse farted I would wake up. Anyway, it starts with a Gavin whimper, then it goes from 0-100 in about 2.5 seconds. He just howls, I swear the neighbors think we hurt him on a nightly basis. I always let him go for awhile just to see if he will find his pacifier and calm himself down, that rarely happens, but I do silently wish it would since Gavin has become a little bed hog. But generally, I poke my dead to the world husband and tell him to go get his crying, screaming son. He humphs and groans, grabs Gavin and flops him into bed next to me. Now here is where you will sigh with me, Gavin will grab my hand and put it against his face and fall back asleep, ready, set *SIGH* how sweet is that? I still maintain the fact that all my baby wanted was his mama. How can I deny that of my baby boy? So its sleeping bliss for ohhh about 5 minutes. That is when the kicking and the rolling starts. I get a foot in the face, a finger in the mouth and another foot down my shirt...aww great....
Usually around 5am I find him across the bed length wise with the feet in my face and his head underneath Nicks armpit, sooo cute. I always have a good laugh when I open my eyes and see this because seriously someone needs to take a picture of this, these are the moments you want to remember forever.
Once he is awake and in turn means I am awake we have a rousing game of "can you hear the birds" Which lasts a good 5 minutes and then he is demanding his bottle of milk. This has become a daily occurence in the morning, which I would NEVER change for the world. Who needs sleep anyway?

"Take you for a ride on my big green Tractor"

Yes, there is a song out there titled "Big Green Tractor" Its a country song about a guy who is bringing his girl around the farm on his big green tractor. Well, here is my man on his big green tractor. This picture really shows my babies personality to a T. One hand on the wheel looking at something in the distance with his mind on something else. His big belly jutted out like the redneck baby that he is. The only thing missing is a cowboy hat and a Budweiser. HA
Along with his silly rednecky side there is the sweet boy that I cannot believe is mine. Randomly now he will come up and pucker his lips and lay a big wet kiss on my lips or cheek and hug me, those moments make me want to cry. He has such a big heart and really does understand emotions. If I am upset or in a bad mood he does everything in his little power to put a smile on my face whether it be him crinkling his nose and smiling or just doing a dance in front of me and stopping to smile at me, he is gonna make one heck of a husband one day!

Welcome to the new blog!

well I decided to move the Gavin blog here for many reasons.
1. I am tired of the site deleting my posts over and over again so I end up writing the same thing two, three, even four times.
2. When I am at work it randomly pops up, and when the boss is talking to you and 'totsite' pops up it does not necessarily scream, I AM WORKING!
3. I realized the last time I wrote on this was two years ago.... Oops.

So here we are, I hope the new home is good to us.
Lets see what is new? Gavin has learned a new trick, but he does not get a cookie for this treat. He has learned to climb tables, chairs and pretty much anything else that will give me a heartattack. Today I looked over and he was chilling in our chair with this grin on his face like "ha, mom look at me sucker" It was priceless really, I wish I had a camera for that moment. His new trick has just caused more work for me, gone are the days where I can leave him out in the living room while I go pee, going pee is a thing of the past. I always remembered my mom saying "I never got a moment, not even to pee." I scoffed and thought to myself. You gotta pee for goodness sake. Yea, that is why they invented depends, for mothers who have climbing children like mine. Great.
It is pretty cute though watching him shimmy his hiney up the table and sit there like it is the best thing since sliced bread.
So while I still maintain the fact that my son is a genius, I wish he was not smart enough to climb everything in site. I think I will be the youngest person to ever go to the hair salon and ask the girl 'can you cover these gray hairs?'