Hug Tight

Growing up I never thought I would loose the ones I love, I wanted to keep them in a box forever and whenever I needed them I wanted to take them out and hug them and make them promise never to leave me.
Now that I am older, I am aware that is not real and the ones I love will someday leave me and I cannot keep them forever. I learned that this week when my grandpa died. My grandpa was someone that unfortunately I took for granted, he was a rock that would never and could never budge. He was an electrician, he was a rattlesnake wrestler, not someone who would leave this world unhappy. When I learned about his death and how it happened there was so many things I wanted to say to him. I wanted to ask him why, I wanted to give him one last hug and I wanted to sit down and take away all his pain, but I couldn't do that and that makes me feel useless.
I wanted to tell my Grandpa that he was my favorite part of Pennsylvania, that I talked about him all the time and always thought he was so 'Cute'. My grandpa loved hard candies and that was something that we shared. He would always have them in his pocket and give me one when he saw me. That is what I will always remember about my grandpa, among other things. I saw him two weeks before this happened and gave him a hug and promised I would see him soon, had I known I would have hugged him extra hard and whispered 'I love you'. But something tells me, he knew. I do not always believe of an after life, but I must admit it does make it easier. Every night, I blow a kiss and whisper goodnight, that is not only for him but for my entire family, I love you.
So, when you see your family and your friends hug them extra hard, because you never know when it will be your last hug.

I can do that....

So my brother got married YEA! It was a gorgeous wedding on a VERY windy day. It was nice to see everyone and see my brother happy, that was the nicest thing.

I was sitting there watching something other then the wedding for awhile though, I was watching the photographers sitting there thinking " I can do that" I KNOW that taking pictures is a bit more complicated then pointing and shooting, but it looked like SOO much fun. Everyone is happy when taking pictures of a wedding and it looked like so much fun. I got to thinking HEY, I can be a photographer. You may be thinking "Huh?" But really, I feel as though I can really get into this. My uncle photographed our wedding and did an AMAZING job, while I am far from being on the same playing field as him, I feel as though I can get there with practice and the right equipment.

So after a lengthy car ride with my mom and multiple stops to take pictures of mailboxes (Yea, we are going to make a mailbox poster) I decided that I want to get a nice SLR digital camera, the quest was on. Now, for everyone who knows me I am not the most patient person and when I want something I want it NOW whether it be a camera, a haircut or a piece of chocolate when the urge hits I NEED IT NOW. So by Wednesday I am a proud owner of a D40 X Nikon camera, I am in love!!! I can just see myself now taking the action shots, that make people smile and cry. I want to be the photographer that people call to take pictures of their family, wedding, birthday party etc. Dare to dream I know, but I really feel that if nothing else this can be a hobby for me. Granted I have had my camera for what not even 24 hours, but I FEEL the photography juices running in my blood.

Well, we shall see.. I am off to read about my new camera...More to come.

Reality TV

Alright, so I just read my cousins blog because she is really the only one I know how does "Blog" so I am cool and just respond to her blog as really, my life is pretty boring and I have nothing to report today. I did have a very funny conversating with my mom over the weekend, however my memory is that of a 90 year old man and I cannot remember what we talked about....hmmm...
So anyway, I read my cousins blog and the HORROR, she put down my reality TV show Big Brother. That show is what I watch every Monday, Thursday and Sunday (Yes even i admit its sad that it is on three nights in a row) But it does follow a very close pattern as to why and even my husband has gotten into it. It really has no purpose, and really it is rather silly, but I enjoy watching people who have no life and no job to speak of. Becuase when you think of it, what employer would allow their employee to leave for three months to play a reality TV show? Called Big Brother.. Survivor I could see letting them go on that show as it is challenging. But on Big Brother their biggest challenge is eating slop, which BTW looks like cold chunky oatmeal. They should sent he leftovers to the straving people in Survivor they would eat that like it was a five course meal. But anyway, I watch this BB for many reasons.
1. My life is pathetic and i enjoy others whose lives are equally boring and pathetic
2. My mom and husband watch this show and enjoy making fun of them
3. It gives me something to watch while I am knitting
4. I just am shameless and just LOVE this show.
Call me crazy, but it makes me laugh and i will continue to watch it despite what all you critics have to say. You may think you are not missing anything, and really.... your right. You are not missing much except for the "water cooler talk" That revolves around this show. Much like the horrible performance of Britney Spears last night.. Need I say more??

YESSS!

Last night as I was watching crappy TV, "The Hills" Can you believe Heidi and Spencer? Geeez. I was working on my knitting, man what a relaxing thing that is to do. I swear, who needs yoga and pilates, try Knitting and you will be amazed. All those experts say that yoga and pilates will have you finding muscles you never knew you had, did you know that knitting will have you finding your arm muscles in just a few days? Beat that yoga!!!!

So anyway, last night I was knitting and realized hey, I am done! Check out my latest creation inspired by my cousin. Sure, they are a bit short, a bit thick, but they are something and damnit I am proud of them

My next venture, trying to make them longer and more 'Girly' these are more for winter and artic climates then the office environment but I was sooo proud of myself. I actually made something and it was easy. (Abrah, even you can do this) Not naming names or anything.

I am so pumped I can barely concentrate. Don't you hate it when you get a creative bug and you are at work where all your creativity is zapped? I have so many ideas in my head but work is getting in the way, which is WHY tomorrow I am taking the day off and going on another road trip with my mom and my nana. You may be thinking, well that does not sound like fun but you have not met my mom and my nana or you have and you understand completly what I am talking about. But, we are heading to NH for some serious girl shopping and I am pumped. They have an AC moore, the temple of craft stores that we sadly do not have. I am armed with money, ideas and my two best female shoppers. TRY AND STOP US!!!!

So let me know what you think about my attempts at arm/hand warmers.... and yes, they are warm.

I Heart being married

Alright, so the other night I was thinking about those sappy movies that you see on Lifetime, you know the ones where you cry your eyes out because the women is dying of cancer but wants to marry her high school sweetheart, or the one where two people find their long lost loves and find out that they are still in love and want to get married and have four kids together, but one gets hit by a car and dies before all your dreams can come true? (Mom, you know what I am talking about) Well why do they make movies like that? For people like me who are hopeless romantics and can never get enough of that stuff? For people like me who married their best friend and wanted to live happly ever after only to find out that marriage takes a lot of work and is not always roses and champagne? Perhaps.
Let me just say this, I LOVE being married. I LOVE that i married my best friend and that we can hang out together just watching TV and still laugh at our lives. I love that we can share our dreams together, share our lives together and know that we will always be there for each other. On the other side of that, it takes work. The laundry needs to be done, money is always an issue and the dogs need to be taken care of. Those movies forget that life is about compromises and about sacrifices that we make when getting married.
Growing up I always had a dream of living in New York City, or in Los Angelos living my life alone in an apartment, partying with my girlfriends and dating casually for awhile. But the truth is, I wanted that love that was in the movies, I wanted to be swept off my feet and find that long lost love (Without the dying part) I quickly found out that movies are just that, movies and it is hard to find that feeling they have on TV. I may sound bitter, but i was thinking about these movies the other night as I was making dinner, fighting off two over grown dogs and fighting for attention from my husband who finds the computer fascinating and can stay on it for hours on end. Life is tough, tougher then I thought. But at the end of the day, I have someone who loves me and someone who will always be there to take care of me. Who needs roses and champage? Sure it would be nice every once in awhile, but is it real? Can we sustain a relationship on those two things alone? Probably not. So for the time being i have boycotted all lifetime movies and will just focus on reality. Making sure my life is happy, healthy and satisfying and I guess that is all I can ask for.

Bad Chicken

Well, last night I made a great dinner for my husband as I do every night, yes he is spoiled. I made chicken ceaser salad with garlic and vinegar chicken. I knew the chicken looked a bit odd, but I thought it was just a differnet way that we bought it and threw it in the pan to sizzle away.
The dinner was uneventful and we retreated to bed, then it started... Grumble, grumble. First it started with Nick, he came downstairs complaining of stomach pain and not feeling well, I laughed it off thinking that again it was him being a baby as all men are. (Am I right ladies?) He came down, I got him some coke and crackers, my fix for all ailments and went to sleep. I woke up and felt as though I was about to loose breakfast, lunch and dinner. Now, understanding our house we are sleeping on the bottom floor with a spiral staircase anda living room blocking my way to the bathroom. It is not an easy task, so I thought upchuck out the window? Run out into the garage? Or grab a metal pot and see what develops....
Needless to say, I decided to grab my quilt and go upstairs to sleep on the couch so that I am closer to the bathroom then the basement. I got upstairs and my chihuahua automatically positioned himeslf by my butt and fell fast asleep. I on the other hand tossed and turned, groaned and listened to my husband tell me a story in his sleep (He is really good at that, last night was about cows and chocolate.) Wonder what he was thinking about.
Anyway, I made it through the night without praying to the toliet as I thought I would be doing. Here I am at work trying to figure out what went wrong with my chicken dish... and no I did not do it on purpose so that my husband will say " No hunny, I will cook remember the bad chicken." Hmmm, great idea though. :)

I am crafty, Yes i am!

Well it seems as though I am in a race with my cousin who is also as geeks would call a "blogger" I found this out by accident and man, she is one up on me. I gotta get going on writing about my odd little life.
After reading hers and laughing about how her life sounds oddly like my own I get the itch to update my blog. After sitting here for an hour, scratching my head and wondering what the hell I am going to write about, I again take the cue from my cousin and write about my crafty silly ways.
I decided to take up knitting again, you may ask how old is this girl righting about drinking, men, and redneck jeeps. I am 23 not 65 as many would have thought reading this blog and wondering "do 23 year olds knit." To which I respond "Hey, all the cool kids are doing it." I can knit a mean scarf and baby blanket but that is where the creativity stops. Until Saturday, My cousin made a comment about how she wanted to wear arm bands to work as her hands get cold typing.. I thought hmm, I can make those. So off to the craft store I went, loaded down with yarn and ready to start my new project. I came home, got my knitting needles and prepared to sit and watch TV all the while knitting away like a fool.
This is how far I got.... Not quite the start I wanted but hey, its like riding a bike or taking up jogging again, it takes time to get the stamina down. my mom, she can knit a king size blanket in probably a day, her knitting needles are smoking when she is done. Me, I tend to take a big longer but I do end up getting it done.
Now Michales is having a sale today with a coupon!!!!! I am feeling CRAFTY!

I married a Redneck boy!

In Vermont you will be hard pressed to not go down the road and see a "lifted" vehicle with monster tires, and a loud infamous "Whine" that large tires make while going down the highway.
I always prided myself as being a 'City girl' I enjoyed the noise, my girly car (Subaru Legacy) and my clothes and purses, well that went out the window when I met my very own country boy. Who owns three "lifted" jeeps and lives on a farm. When I saw those large CJ's sitting in his yard I fell in love, I had to have one.
Fast Foward four years, I got married and now I am a proud owner of a lifted jeep. She is respectively called Stella and I can take her through hell and high water. I can roll with the big boys and man, do they love it. I get the looks of, man she drives that thing. The other day, I was riding with my mom and my cousin and saw bikers, I feel like a badass in my Jeep and if I saw those bikers again, I would have bowled them over one at a time. "HERE COMES STELLA"
Am I crazy you ask? Ask me again when I am roaring down the highway and I am looking down at you in your short car, you will be sorry. Because I am a redneck girl and I make my mama proud!

Scrapbook Pages

Well I have been a busy bee lately, I actually have felt somewhat motivated to get things done, if you know me this is not a common thing. I would much rather be watching reality TV and bashing them with the help of my mother. (Love you mom)

But lately I have found myself scrapping away in my bright and somewhat smelly scrapbook room. I want to get this scrapbook done, and say finally after scrapbooking for six years I have finished a scrapbook, it would be a big accomplishment.

So here are the latest pages I have done, you may notice the "Mom and Me" page may sound a bit off, you are taught in school that when talking about a friend or a mother you say My mom and I, Well that is the beauty of scrapbooking I can say whatever I want! I can break the rules of grammer and still make it look nice. I have an explanation of why I did it on my journaling but its personal and I am already allowing people to be nosey by reading my blog. :)

so here are my pages.. Enjoy!

Bars, Men and Bachelorettes

Well, Saturday prove to be an interesting night. We went out for my future sister-in-laws bachelorette party. It started off innocent enough with dinner at a Mexican resturant and then it turned a bit south. The resturant is set on the waterfront where families come in to enjoy a burrito or some nachos, not a group of 10 rowdy girls drinking from penis straws. Lets just say looks in our direction were not friendly. We were loud, obnixous and I can bet once we left the place was much quieter.

After dinner, we headed back to the hotel for some penis cookies and a rising game of "Pick of dicks" whatever happened to getting dinner, toasting the new bride and calling it a night? For me it was past my bedtime. (Yes sadly, I am getting old)

We headed downtown where we were met with of course, loads of college students all wanting to get a piece of the bachelorette with her sash that read in classy letters "Future Mrs. Engstrom" Wasn't that my last name not to long ago? A bit odd.

We drank, we watched Jenny get drunk off of Tequila and then I was left... The bridal party had left the bar without their other bridesmaid. So I was alone in Burlington trying to find the rest of the 10 girls walking around Church Street, you would think it would be an easy task with all the girls having cell phones, well needless to say after searching, getting odd looks and constantly having my cell phone to my ear I found them. I was told I needed to take care of Erik and Jennys dog and be on "Shit duty" as her bridesmaids told me as I needed to go clean their dogs "shit" Well that was the end of the night.

As I was driving home I was thinking of my own party before I got hitched. I was riding a mechincal bull with my future husband watching proudly as his slightly intoxicated wife to be gets on a huge smelly stuffed beast to ride it like the wind. Now that is my kind of party!!!

Oh well, she is soon to be my sister-in-law and we will do anything for family, except pick of dog pooop!

Scrapbooking

Well this whole blog thing will not be ALL about me, well actually it will. But I will be keeping track of my scrapbook pages as well, if I couldn't get any dorkier, is that a word? yes, I scrapbook everything from flowers to weddings (I AM MARRIED!) So check back here to see my pictures update every once in awhile!

Here are a few pictures from my wedding album that i am quite proud of and it is not even close to being done!

Welcome all..

Yes, I have decided to join the dark side and start a blog, who wants to read about me you ask? Probably no one but Nick and I.. But hey, I figure that there has got to be SOMEONE out there that at least is curious as to what we are doing... *Cough Nosey people Cough* :)
In any event, Nick and I are settling nicely into being married. Who would have thought I would get married? Not me that is for sure, but lo and behold Katy tied the note not to be out done by her big brother who is set to get married 5 months after his baby sister.
Things are going well, we are still fighting on where to live, where we stop, no one knows.. That is including me. Vermont is where we live, where we have family and yet we are antsy to explore and see what else is out there. Luckily or I guess unluckily Nick has the same feelings although our ideas of where to go are only slightly different. I want sun and sand, Nick wants snow and wildlife.. Where can we find a compromise? His compromise is well, we can move to Alaska and live on the ocean, only problem is SNOW.
But it really is not determined where we will end up, we are trying for a baby (Yea!) so when that little sucker comes out, who knows where we will decide to be? Considering our family is here, always will be here and will never leave.
It will be interesting to see what comes up, all I know is we have a wedding coming up in just under three weeks... After all these weddings what are we going to do with all our free time? Dare to dream!